Healing through story

Month: June 2021

Mannequin Monday – “Next!”

Popular TV personalities aren’t always what they seem. I share my story bite “Hold It Down” about an encounter gone awry.

And I write about two actual encounters I’ve had with celebrity. Thanks for stopping by. Enjoy!

What I’m Writing

Hold It Down

After two hours, Sam finally reached the head of the line for the book signing. A wildly popular TV chef, Railene Duncan, known for serving up tasty meals in a short time, sat at a table smiling at customers and signing book after book. Sam had rehearsed for hours on what he would say to her. Thanks for your great recipes. I’ve lost ten pounds and feel great. No. Don’t emphasize his weight. I love your show. The recipes are so easy to follow. Nah, just say thank you.

Credit: TaskRabbit.com

The woman who had stood in front of him for the whole two hours stepped up to the table, book held out for signing. Railene gave her a huge smile. Sam heard the woman say, “Can we take a picture together?” The chef nodded.

It will flash.

The woman immediately swung around to Sam, handed him a point and shoot camera, and said, “Please take our picture.” Sam hesitated. He didn’t use cameras, hated to take pictures. He held the camera up, looking for the shutter release. “Press here,” she said, pointing to a red button. “It will flash.” He framed the shot, pressed the button. Nothing happened. He tried again. Same result. Nothing.

Sam heard people muttering behind him. The woman rushed at Sam. “Hold the shutter release down after you focus.” Sam looked at the camera. The woman shrieked. “Hold it down!”

The TV chef stood, a snarl wiping away the smile that had been on her face. “Come on, keep it moving. People are waiting.”

The woman posed again with the chef. Both plastered on a smile. This time Sam held the shutter release down, the camera flashed. The woman grabbed the camera and dashed off without a thank you.

Railene yanked Sam’s copy of the book from his hand, signed it while she was still standing, and handed it to him without even looking at him. She sat, looked to the next person in line, a huge smile on her face. “Next.”

***

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Mannequin Monday – This can’t be fixed.

Our mannequin carries a heavy burden this week, clothed in grief, little consolation from words of wisdom. Only a couple of sentences to light the way: “Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.”

What I’m Writing This Week

I offer you another story bite, “The Talk of People in the Sea.” This one is inspired by two sources. One, a quote posted by my friend Caroline Farrell. The quote comes from Tim Lawrence, from his blog The Adversity Within. The quote: “Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.”

The second inspiration is the book I’m currently reading, Henry Beston’s The Outermost House. All about his year-long stay in a beach shack on Cape Cod. I hope you enjoy my story.

The Talk of People in the Sea

Bob Gillen

A friend let Dylan borrow his beach shack. Isolated. Miles of sand in either direction. Dunes that changed shape almost daily. Grasses moving with the wind. A surf that was never silent. Long past Labor Day, when all the tourists have gone home. When only the stoic year-rounders hung on. Most had a purpose. Fishing, boat repair, construction, retail. And him. With no purpose. Just here.

Dylan had lost his love. Gone, passed on. Died, his word of choice. Now he lived in a cloud of grief. Not so much grieving, as a verb. Grief, the noun. Not a fluid kind of thing. No, this held a man in its grip. Tangled him in roots. Held him like quicksand. Held him but did not pull him under. Too easy that way. Kept him half buried. Hard to breath. Vision limited to the muck in front of him.

Tonight was Dylan’s third at the beach shack. The night air brought shivers, the fireplace down to embers at one a.m. The inside of the shack felt like the inside of an urn, holding the ashes of his memories. He crawled out of his sleeping bag, warmed leftover coffee in the microwave, sat out on the tiny porch, wrapped in a faded blanket.

Above him, stars. A cliché to say “countless stars,” he thought. Looking at them on this moonless night he wondered, the stars are perhaps the only changeless thing in this universe. Changeless, from his perspective. Of course, a scientist would say that the universe was in constant flux. But he could not see that from his spot on this beach, on this night, his time of emptiness.

He set his cup down on the porch floor, rose, pulled the blanket over his shoulders, walked to the beach. At the water’s edge he stood, listening, seeing only the white slashes of the crashing waves. With his bare feet he probed for a dry spot to sit down. He cocooned himself in the blanket, closed his eyes, marveled at the unique sound of each wave.

Credit: Mary Spears

He sat for an hour, listening, hoping the crashing waves would wash away his grief. Purge it from his soul.

Dylan caught a new sound coming through the surf’s roar. A whisper, a voice. He opened his eyes. There was no one. Of course, there was no one. Not here. Not at this hour. Again, the whisper. He strained his eyes to see out beyond the surf. For a boat passing off shore. For fishermen calling out.

Too dark without a moon to see beyond the surf. There were no silhouettes on the horizon. No shape that could be a ship.

Another whisper. In between the crashes of the surf. Two words. He strained to make them out. A woman’s voice? Soft, calm, at peace. Two words. You…? Carry…? 

He shuddered in the night’s deep chill. Tossed the blanket aside and stood. What was this voice? He kept his eyes open, looking for a source. There was nothing to see.

Again, you…carry. This time a male voice. Deep, booming under the roiling surf. 

More words spilled into the air. Several voices together. Tumbling. Can’t fix…only…

He dug the heels of his hands deep into his eyes. Rubbed hard. Stared at the surf. Looked up into the infinite spray of stars above him. He searched for a constellation. Found none. He was never good at spotting them anyway.

With no warning, no hint, grief welled up as from the bottom of his soul. Tears poured down his face. Disappeared into the sand at his feet.

And the voices rolled out of the surf. Softly, over the roar. Deeply, under the roar. The words clear now.

This can’t be fixed, my love. You can only carry it.

***

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Mannequin Monday – Ah, forgive me

An elegant restaurant, a special date…and it all goes downhill after meeting the chef. A tale of aversions. My current story bite.

This week I’m re-reading a book I first discovered almost 40 years ago: The Outermost House, by Henry Beston. He spent a full year on a Cape Cod beach over 90 years ago.

What I’m Writing This Week

Another story bite I’d like to share with you. Thanks for reading.

Inked

Bob Gillen

After six months of waiting for the right moment, Raymond Martin had finally asked Rose Malloy from the marketing department out on a date. She said yes. He made reservations at the posh Owl Tree restaurant, offering fine dining and live music. 

Raymond and Rose stood at the hosting station at Owl Tree as a maitre’d in a one-size-too-small black suit confirmed their reservation while simultaneously giving them the elevator glance to determine if they were worthy of eating there. He found them worthy. Barely, by the pinched smile on his face. He led them to a booth near the kitchen. Raymond was about to object to the kitchen proximity when Rose said she loved the plush seating. 

Their table featured tented white napkins and a flickering tea light. A server took drink orders immediately, then brought a tiny tray of even tinier rolls and butter.

“This is delightful, Raymond.” Rose smiled, glancing around at the dimly lit dining room. Crystal chandeliers graced the large room. At the far side of the room a jazz trio played quietly over the hushed conversations of the patrons.

Raymond lit up. “I’m so happy you like it. I’ve never been here before. It’s actually a bit elegant for my tastes.”

Oh god, did he just say that?

“You seem pretty elegant to me,” Rose said, as she sipped her white wine.

Raymond felt his face redden. He hoped she couldn’t see it in the dark.

The server returned to their table. Rose chose a seafood pasta. “Does the accompanying salad use only organic greens?” she asked the server. 

“Only the best, miss.”

Excellent choice.

Raymond said, “I’ll try the oven-braised chicken meatballs.”

“Excellent choice.”

Halfway through the meal, the chef, resplendent in white jacket and toque, approached their table. 

“I am Maurice, the chef here at the Owl Tree. I hope you are pleased with your meal?”

Raymond waited a second for Rose to reply. She did not. He said, “The chicken meatballs are cooked perfectly. Very tasty. Thank you.”

“And you, madame?” The chef looked to Rose.

Rose was staring wide-eyed at a stain on the chef’s sleeve, something a deep red and quite obvious.

The chef followed her gaze. “Ah, forgive me. I splashed sauce on myself. It is quite impossible to remain spotless in a busy kitchen.”

He promptly rolled up the offending sleeve, then the other. Rose stared wide-eyed at the chef’s two arms, covered in tattoos, black ink from his wrists to above his elbows.

Rose looked away. She covered her mouth with her napkin. She was trying not to wretch. The chef glared at Rose. He stepped back, turned and hurried off to the kitchen. The server dashed over.

“Is everything all right, miss?”

Raymond attempted to hand his napkin to Rose. She brushed his hand away.

In a weak voice she said, “I can’t stand tattoos. They disgust me. I can’t eat any more. Raymond, take me home.”

She rose, grabbed her purse, and headed for the door.

The maitre’d now approached. “Are you all right, sir?”

“Apparently not,” Raymond said to no one in particular. “A couple of tattoos just ruined my dream date.”

The server said, “May I box up your meals?”

“Yes, please,” Raymond said. 

He gave his credit card to the server and looked for Rose. She was sitting in the lobby.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“No, I am not okay. I hate tattoos. I find it disgusting that someone would be covered in ink and cook for the public.” She was still holding the napkin to her face.

“I have to get out of here,” she said.

“Okay. I’m waiting to get my credit card back…and the takeout containers.”

“Takeout? Seriously? Do you want me to throw up in the car?”

Raymond sighed. “I paid a lot for this food. I’m taking it home.”

Rose stared at him. She reached for her phone. “I’ll call Uber.”

He nodded. Sat down next to her. Why do I do this to myself?

***

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Mannequin Monday – I play her guitar

5:55 p.m. Supermarket checker Lari talks addiction recovery with a customer. A story bite of mine.

And I visit the songwriting doc It All Begins with a Song. It’s all about the thriving artist colony that is the Nashville songwriting community.

What I’m Writing This Week

I’m sharing another story bite, this one inspired by a real supermarket checker I knew. I hope you enjoy it.

  Five Fifty Five

Bob Gillen

Lari’s phone alarm chirped as she scanned the last of twelve cans of cat food for her supermarket customer. She dug the phone out of her jeans pocket, smiled at the display, turned off the alarm. She stuffed the phone back in her pocket.

Her customer glanced at her own watch. “5:55. Is your shift ending?”

“I don’t get off till eight tonight.”

“Oh?” Her customer gave Lari a puzzled look.

Lari leaned around the register to see that there were no other customers in line.

“Five fifty five,” she said. “I had my last drink at 5:55 in the afternoon, I’m six years thirty two days sober today.”

“Good for you,” the customer said, as she slipped her credit card into the card reader. “You must be proud.”

Lari reached into another pocket, placed a large token on the counter next to the card reader. 

“I got this at my fifth year sober. Pick it up.”

The customer handled the token. “It’s heavy.”

Lari nodded.

“Your family must be happy with your sobriety.”

Lari checked again that there was no one else in line. 

She shrugged. “No one left. I do this for me.”

“I admire your courage.”

Lari looked the customer in the eye. “Husband left me years ago. My daughter is dead. OD’d last year.”

“Oh.”

“She’d be twenty eight tomorrow, if she had made it. Booze got her.”

“I’m so sorry.” Her customer took the receipt Liza handed her, folded it into her purse.

Lari put the token back in her pocket. Filled a paper bag with the customer’s grocery items.

I play her guitar.

“How do you cope?” the customer asked.

“I play her guitar.”

 The customer picked up her bag. “Her guitar?”

“I play it every night. Her favorite songs. I don’t play well, but…” 

A new customer began tossing her groceries on the belt. The exiting customer said, “You take care.” She walked away.

Lari scanned the first item sliding off the belt, a bottle of vodka. She quickly pulled out her phone, reset the alarm for 5:55 p.m. tomorrow.

***

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