Neal brags to Danny about his recent three-way. Danny is unimpressed.

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The Girls on the Beach

Bob Gillen   

“Real burger lovers don’t eat cut sandwiches.” Danny mumbled the aside as his friend Neal sliced his cheeseburger in half.

“It’s easier to eat this way,” Neal countered.

“Just sayin’.” Danny dug his fork into the over-medium eggs on his plate. Pushed hash browns into the yolks.

Three in the afternoon. Halfway between the city and the beach. The beginning of summer. The two sat in a rear booth in the almost-empty diner.

“More coffee?” The server poured without waiting for an answer.

Danny asked, “What time are we meeting the other guys?”

“They said they’d meet us around five. Jon has the keys…and the beer.”

Neal flipped the selection cards on the small jukebox player at the end of the table. “Got any change?”

Danny reached into his pocket, slid a couple of quarters across the table.

Neal made his choices. First up, The Beach Boys, “Girls on the Beach.”

Neal scanned the room.

He leaned in. “This song reminds me…did I ever tell you…”

Danny shook his head. “What?”

“Unbelievable.” Neal lowered his voice. “Last summer. I was at the shore with my parents. They rented a bungalow right on the beach. One day they drove into the city to go shopping.”

Over a forkful of potatoes Danny saw Neal grinning. “I was sitting on the beach. Alone. Bored. These two girls came down the beach. Gorgeous. The kind who would never look at me.”

Neal hesitated. “I never told anyone about this. I figured no one would believe me.”

“Uh huh.” Danny saw Neal’s grin grow wider. 

“They stopped and asked me where I was staying. I pointed to our bungalow. They walked me to the house and we had a three-way. Twice. Twice!”

Danny fingered the piece of toast in his hand “Who were they?” he managed to ask.

“No idea.” Neal chomped on his burger. “They never told me their names. I never saw them again…I sat out on the beach for days but they never came back.”

Danny reached for his coffee. “That’s cool.”

“That’s it? Cool? It was so far beyond cool. It was the best thing ever happened to me.”

Danny managed a nod.

“Is cool all you can say?” Neal asked.

The jukebox pumped out the Stones, “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.”

Danny leaned in so far his chin was over his plate. In an intense whisper he said, “Yeah, it’s cool. Cool for you. Know what’s cool for me? Nothing.” 

Danny shoved his plate aside. “Nothing like that ever happens to me.”

***